Last night Pete and I went to El Toro Brewing Co. in Morgan Hill. It was our intent to get a bite to eat and a couple beers before heading down the street for a cigar. I am a huge fan of the French Dip sandwich. Anyone not familiar with the sandwich, I’ve provided a photo and the recipe calls for a white roll, sliced ROAST BEEF, and a cup of au jus. I opt to add swiss cheese melted over mine because it adds to the sheer deliciousness of the sandwich and if you go to a a really awesome place they put the meat in au jus before putting it on the bread.
Anyway, fast forward and Pete and I are at El Toro and looking over the menu. I’m having a pint of 
Poppy Jasper Ale and he is having a pint of their Kolsch. I am debating between Fried Chicken and the French Dip. Pete warned me before we got their to set the bar low as their food isn’t all that. I figured I’d go with the old faithful French Dip. I order it and finish my pint and decide we are going to be out for quite a few more hours, so I decided to have a pint of their Oatmeal stout. My sandwich shows up and immediately I notice something is not quite right.
My sandwich is not made with sliced roast beef at all, rather STEAK UMS. If you’re not familiar with steak ums, they are a nasty processed steak like meat very comparable to processed roast beef in both taste and texture. I take one bite and exclaim“BARKEEP! SUCH INDISCRETIONS HAVE NOT GONE UN NOTICED – YOU MAY HAVE DEFILED THE TASTE BUDS OF OTHER MEN WITH THIS SANDWICH, BUT YOUR END IS NEAR!!!!” [calls to his book of spells and pulls a lightening bolt from under his robe....errr wait. Where am I?]. Anyway, so yeah. I got processed steak in my French Dip, processed fucking steak. Don’t get me started on the kraft swiss slices either, not even legit cheese from a block, fake cheese. I know you’re reading this Peter — WHY DID WE GO TO EL TORO??? Next time you need a “guys night out” we are going to Rock Bottom and smoking our cigars on the patio.
I won’t soon forget this El Toro, your lack of real meat on my sandwich is UNFORGIVABLE!
3 Comments to “A French Dip done wrong, REALLY wrong!”
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Pete says:
Hahahahaha!!! I tried to steer you toward the pulled pork sandwich (hold the swine flu) because it stays down better than the rest of the food they offer.
We went there for the beer, not for the food. Great beer, bad food. Next time El Toro is the plan, we’ll eat dinner BEFORE going there.
Whatever you do, don’t EVER try the nachos.
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Dani says:
How and why would you process meat to look like steak? I mean that is like bringing the meat full circle isn’t it? I can’t even imagine what purpose it would serve. I’m sorry you had to consume that. LOL So how was the beer?
You should have put on your robe and wizard hat!